Ring the lady from your group, why on earth are you trying to handle this by yourself when you don't have to...wow cmon, seriously ring her now or asap! Get a sponsor now or asap and start working the steps, you have no idea how much the steps will help you with all this, you have to start doing them...i don't know how to emphasise all of what i have said as THE solution for you...
When i went into AA i wanted to kill both my parnets and do myself, yet here i sit perfectly calm and able to have a conversation with my mother with no problem now...i've only been sober 6 months, i had all the promises coming true by month 3 and had finished the initial work on the steps after 6 weeks...fingers and toes crossed that you listen and pick up the phone and get a sponsor!!!