My family was also in complete denial. By family, I mean my husbands family. Who I'm closer with. I think his dad still has doubts even after telling him my dirty hiding secrets.
The human psyche is a funny thing. As long as you're taking care of yourself, your brain will remember how to manage all these "alien" emotions. When I was early recovery if I didn't like my mood, All I had to do was wait a minute because it'll change. It sure was a big relief to finally get the stability when it came. And It almost always does.
"I do strange things like dye my hair or get a tattoo (got a tattoo last night.)"
That sure was me. I went all out with hair color. Pink, black - pink With black. Mini dresses, stiletto boots, very "bright" wardrobe. It was as if I was telling the world that "I've arrived". It might sound cool, but I looked like a damn fool. Sigh, I'll always have the pictures! ;-)
I still like my boots!
Anyway, I felt like I was 17 again. Which I was, emotionally. 2 1/2 years later I honestly think I'm catching up a little. I think I'm about 25 years emotionally now. Not bad for being 37.
Writing those letters we'll never send is a wonderful tool.