I would have to remind you that it is a combination of factors - many mentioned above that put together to make out what you are describing.
Mostly I think three things are important to understand - first when a person stops drinking there is a period of time for the brain an body to clear out and heal from the toxic effects. Second, the person has numbed themselves from every emotion and experience of life, reentry is overwhelming and overstimulating to cope with and include the lack of experience in coping. Third, is the possibility that are not nice people underneath it all and it gets masked by the alcohol.
When my RAH stopped is when I discovered that he had real problems which the A was masking. The degree of repair and reconstruction depends upon how much the person works at it - just the same as any other condition in life.
But I will say this - I share the heartbrokenness of having a spouse become sober and still look the same. I spent two years blaming the A for his behavior and the past year realizing that he has real problems. The hardest part for me is understanding that it is not his fault that he has these problems and he does not feel the same need to work on it as I feel. So it puts the burden of the decision making on me which I am working at slowly.
This is my time to take care of myself as well, so I try not to overwhelm myself and deal with one thing at a time- no hurrying, less stressing. I really don't like how things are but I have to admit that after reading many of the stories here - my life and relationship may not be the way I want it - but it is better to not have to cope with the drinking.