Thread: Agh, Headache
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Old 01-22-2010, 12:58 AM
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Tealvertigo
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Agh, Headache

I kind of failed today.

I took only one Ritalin pill this morning, as that is half of my prescribed dose for the day, and I intended on only taking one more in the afternoon when I would do my homework, as I was also prescribed (well, not to do homework, but to take the other 5mg in the afternoon). When 9 o'clock PM rolled around- my usual dosing time- I didn't follow through with my plan and gave in to the desire to take two pills and have a good time for an hour or so.

I called my dad, made dinner, and browsed the internet in all my bliss for a little while, but then began to crash. I consumed a large amount of caffeine to try and extend the effect, but it didn't work like it usually would in the past. So now, I am awake and cant sleep, but I am depressed and have a headache. I feel sort of sick to my stomach and I know why, but I feel like I dug myself into this hole and now I need to wait until I wind down.

I have noticed my highs are getting shorter and shorter, and I feel like I will begin taking higher doses to extend them if I dont put forth a better effort now. However, it is really hard to do.

One of the users of these forums said I have a lot of thinking to do about going deeper into addiction, and I did a lot of it today and felt good about trying to get out of it. However, looking at how easily I took my night time dose, I realised I will need to do more than think about the situation. When I was abusing Oxycodone, Vicodin, Ambien, Cigarettes, and other things, I did not find myself as deep in a hole as this one has put me. The worst thing is, I only realised today that I have taken these pills incorrectly for *months*, when it seriously only felt like a few weeks.

So now, I have decided I want help, and I need it, because I have a better chance of getting out of this now than later. However, it seems I am already in a bit of a pickle.
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