Hi and welcome Joe,
I suppose all of us have had that thought, why can't we drink like everyone else then we have wasted so much time trying to drink like everyone else, only to find that we just can't.
The fact that you are now blacking out is a sign that your alcoholism is taking it's toll on your body and brain - this is a progressive disease, it just gets worse.
For the last year or so of my drinking I was blacking out after 2 glasses or wine or so, yet reports I got back from others suggested I was acting normal. I just don't remember. There is much I don't remember.....
Please stick around here. I hope you keep an open mind and consider going to an AA meeting. Getting some support and someone to talk to who understands is a great help.