I have read here of so many people who tried and tried to stay sober and failed over and over til they finally 'got it'. What made their last time drinking different, making it their 'last time'? I don't know, but I do know that this could be my 'last time' falling back into that hole. I choose to believe that, and am grateful to my higher power for giving me the will to not drink. Cause that's what I think it is: my higher power giving me the strength to stay sober, not that it's just one of a history of attempts. I choose to look at it positively, not negatively.