DClifford
good for you for taking the time to get that all off your chest!! hopefully you feel somewhat better having laid it all out. Fortunately (and unfortunately) you are not the only one in this situation so at the very least you will get lots of support. Having your girlfriend with you is awesome, but I understand your stress of losing her. All the stress of losing her however, is likely not going to help your situation - 'cause - how do people like us deal with stress???
yep - and so starts the viscous cycle again. I guess it all comes down to you being ready to quit - and being ready to quit for you. Doing it for anyone else or for any other reason isn't going to work. Hopefully you can get the support and advice on here to help you start your recovery..which will help get your life back in order...which will perhaps ensure your girlfriend will stay with you...which will....etc etc (see the "good" cycle your life 'could' turn into?)
I wish I had great advice on how to get back on track or some magic words to fix your situation over night - but I don't. What I do have is understanding of where you've been and where you're at - it resembles my life for sure. Stick around here and others will be by to offer their support.
You're here...so you're stepping in the right direction!
Krista