Padriac,
You've been around here long enough that I'm sure you've heard this pitch before, but have you thought about AA?
I say this because you are described so well in that book. The guy who makes a firm resolution to never drink again (and really means it), then picks up that first drink and starts the cycle over, emerging remorseful and makes another decision to never drink. Repeated over and over again.
There is nothing unusual or special about that. It's absolutely run of the mill alcoholism. It describes me for years. See, I could make the decision to not drink, but I couldn't manage that decision. I simple did not have the power to manage it.
AA is all about giving you a way to get that power. It may not be the only way, but I've seen it work for some pretty hopeless cases, myself included.