Saphie,
My addiction "lover" is beautiful...on the outside. But on the inside, she is soulless and her heart is black. With the "infatuated mind" (the alcoholic brain,) I can only see superficially and the true nature is hidden in that blindness. The only way to regain true insight is not to "kiss those lips." As I had PM'd Pennylane a few moments ago, my analogies are meant to display my emotional side of addiction. To paint an image rather than to just write words.
With the help of my friends on SR, I will continue to deal with the problem...a day at a time. You all help me make the decision to return yet again. I lose hope at times, only to regain it with your concerns. Again, I thank you all.
Peace,
Padraic