Safira, I'll just throw my two cents in. I'm a reluctant follower of AA--lots I take issue with, lots I don't agree with, etc., etc. However, my sponsor urged me to ask my higher power to lift my mental obsession with alcohol. I have been praying nightly to have this obsession lifted. I'm not a big pray-er--my prayers usually go something like this "Dear God or Dear Universe please help lift this obsession over alcohol and allow me to use this energy to do what I was meant to do here on this earth..." Sometimes I ramble on about how I don't know how to pray, or that I don't know "who" I'm talking to. I do agree that feeling you are alone and struggling to control alcohol by yourself without any sort of divine intervention/help (even if its the help from these boards) can be very lonely indeed.
I, too, was a nighttime drinker, and drank more in secret toward the end. I, too, was in school and working really hard. Alcohol seemed to be the only thing that allowed me to sleep at night. It was also a "reward" for getting through the day. I am now 11 months sober. I really never thought I would be able to get through a night without alcohol. My sleep is 100 x better, and I don't feel like a loser and a fake anymore. I wish you luck on your journey. I found a lot of help and support right here with SR. Private message me if you like.