Just a quick update to let you know the fool is still a fool.
Sinking into an abysmal ocean of self-pity, I drank again. I chose to take Alcohol's seemingly comforting hand and plunged into those dark waters yet again. And I repeated the fateful jump the next evening...then the next. Each time I could feel the chain of addiction again wrap around me until I felt helpless and alone. I suffer the thoughts that I have lost the fight once again. Why not just surrender and everything will be fine. Her song begins to haunt my thoughts. Her lips brush against mine as the warm liquid slides down my throat and dissolves my will and strangles my soul. My life spirit is displaced by the volume of addiction. I close my eyes and allow it.
Then, in the dawn's light, she is gone, leaving the sour, stale remnant of her kiss and the ache of remorse from accepting her embrace. My soul cries for reprieve and begs "no more!" Then, in the early evening, she returns, the Siren of Mythomania, and draws me close to her busom and softly tells me the lies once more.
Last night I wouldn't listen to the lulling. Tonight, it was difficult, but I again refused her advances. If only the wax of Odysseus could stay in my ears, that I would never have to hear that song again for the rest of my life.
So here I sit, sober, tired, and afraid. A healthy fear, though, for I am a heartbeat away from relapse, and I know it. But not tonight. It will not happen tonight. The main battle of the day is over and I have won this one. Pray I fight again tomorrow evening.
Peace