Mentally, was your husband ever a kind, sweet, gentle, responsible man who would sit down with you and listen to your complaints, and work things out with you? Was he ever someone you could establish boundaries with, and have him respect you, and them, without getting angry? How long ago, and for how long?
Sometimes it is not the alcohol that makes someone a jerk. Are you sure you're not expecting him to be someone he's not?
If he has been an alcoholic for a long time, he hasn't had to face reality for a long time...coupled with this new reality, that you're not willing to be his doormat any more. It is bound to be a huge shock to his system.
On top of that, he still wants you to change your behavior. He wants that doormat back.
And he knows that getting angry is the key to getting you to do what he wants.
Look at you now, right here: You are coming unglued because he's angry, rather than just saying "I don't want to be around that, so I won't." You're scrambling for a medical reason why he's treating you like dirt.
He knows you well.
You can be civil with him (for the kids' sake) without suffering his abuse. If you're willing to stand up for yourself. You are worth it.
Last edited by GiveLove; 01-19-2010 at 08:06 PM.