OK...you love her....that's good.
But I think perhaps the more important question you need to be asking yourself is how much do you love yourself (and maybe your kids) and what's going on with you that you allow someone -- anyone, regardless of how much you light love that person -- to treat you (and your kids) this way.
...and, BTW, Al Anon will help you whether you ultimately decide to stay or to go.
freya