I'm so sorry I made that promise. Is it okay to tell her that I can't wait and I want to email him to remove the message now?
Absolutely!
bluebloom- it's great you are here and asking these questions and taking a good hard look at yourself!
All the questions you ask are great jumping off points with a therapist. I know I needed one-on-one therapy after my divorce to help me figure out why I had such good taste in friends and such lousy taste in romantic partners! I had a lot to learn, but it was all there, inside me, waiting to be brought out into the light and dealt with.
It is not impossible to change ourselves or our lives. But it does take commitment and work. Not easy but worth it.
Keep seeking answers!
peace-
b