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Old 01-19-2010, 03:50 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Lilyflower
Recovering Codependant
 
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Grief is one of those things that unfortunately just takes time I guess. I think the space away from your OH and the impact that has on your mind will certainly help the process along.

I used to suffer from guilt, until I learnt about the two different kinds of guilt- earned and unearned.

Earned guilt is my mind communicating through to me that I have not actyed in the best manner and possibly acted against my own or someone else's morals. It is beneficial as it can help guide me into making amends, seeking forgiveness internally as well as externally and can bring about personal growth.

Unearned guilt is me allowing myself to feel that I am responsible for something/someone that is actually out of my hands to control. It is wasted energy as I am unable to control anything outside of myself and only serves to eat away at my self worth and self esteem. I usually apply the 3C's to this as a remedy against the feelings.

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