Soberinwpg:
Thanks for your kind welcome! I am so happy to have found this website.
I attended a few AA meetings back in the day, voluntarily, for my drinking. I stopped going to them, though. There were a few concerns I had about the meetings, and so I thought online meetings might be better for me. I follow the steps of AA, but do not physically attend meetings.
I DO know why I've started drinking again, but I don't know why my trigger is what it is.
I'm working on my Master's degree these days, and I have to say that as my coursework got more difficult, the urge to drink reemerged. There's something about working so hard in college that makes me want to drink after a major success in school. I work hard and I get As, and then...I want to drink until my over-strained brain buzzes peacefully.
Being back in school has been stressful and rewarding, and it is definitely my trigger to want to drink again. I know that. My mind seeks alcohol to balance out the schoolwork. I don't know why that is, or how it works, but it's true.
There has to be a better way to relax that is equally rewarding. I need to find one, pronto. I'm halfway to my degree now, and the urge to drink (and smoke cigs) is HUGE within me after I finish every project and research paper...