Thanks for the replies and the unbridled love for another struggling addict. I would love to be able to pick up my white chip at my home group. Unfortunately, for this addict, picking up a white chip locally, could have repercussions for me professionally leading to repercussions for my family financially. Therefore, I have been advised by my sponsor who is a therapist, to accompany him to an out of town meeting where I will pick up my white chip. In the last 24 hrs, I have come clean about my relapse with my family, my own therapist, my sponsor (also an LPC) and my pastor. I have several other mentors in and out of the program with double digit sobriety, who I am in the process of contacting and informing of my relapse. I have agreed to take a 7 panel drug test 2x/month, do step-work with sponsor, counseling with therapist, couples counseling with my wife, and continue to attend Church 2x/week and AA mtg 2x/week, wife/family night 1x and the other two nights a week I am tied up with work obligations.