Something that helped me to be strong and do what I needed to do, as hard as it was, was to go to meetings, find a sponsor and learn to work/live 12 little steps that literally saved my life.
Accepting the pain that I was living in then and travelling in blind faith that if I did what others before me had done, I too would find peace, helped me to get to the good place I am in today.
My heart and prayers go out for you and that precious little girl who is blessed to have you in her life.
Hugs