Hi purple. I am 26 and I feel exactly the same. I passed through difficult times especially during the first 90 days. I had some bad mood swings and was exhausted by the highs and lows. You are not supposed to feel so good at 18 days sober. Just hang in and try to go to meetings where you can find others, especially young people, doing exactly what you are doing. I remember days when I was drunk waking up next day with bruises and not being able to remember a single detail from the night before. I remember the shame and embarrasment. I remember the deep depression and feeling of uselessness from making a fool of myself.
Today I dont have to live this way. I have 129 days clean. Some days were real hard and I had to literarly hang on by minutes but what mattered is that Im still sober and clean. A clean/sober day is always a good day. My problem was not the substance I was using but me. I finally had an opportunity to work on me and get over some painful stuff in my life. I see many alcoholics who are able to go to clubs again and enjoy their time without drinking. They are years sober. Life doesnot end when we are clean or sober. Actually life begins. But I must know to drink/use means to Die or worse to live the living of the dead. You are doing the right thing so hang in.
