Its not due to alcohol. Its due to mental health. Although my OH acts exactly the same as an active alcoholic would.
My problem is not how to deal with him, I've done that, I live with my 2 boys in a different house.
My problem is how to deal with the fallout. How do you cope with feeling really bad for ending the relationship?
I have been separated for nearly a year but have only just within the last week told my OH that me and the boys will never move back with him and that there is no future between him and me.
I have a small issue with the fact that this time he may well try to commit suicide like he did last time I tried to stop him controlling my life. I was the one that saved him last time and now to a lot of people I am wonderful. I HATE IT!!! I don't want to be the one to find him again if he does decide. In fact I will resist any urge I get to go to his house.
Does that sound bad?
It's honestly how I feel, if he had succeeded last time I wouldn't have this nightmare I have now.
I also wouldn't feel that so many people expect us to be the perfect couple, how can I live up to that when I know what he is like in private. The sniping, the dirty looks at my oldest, the comments under the breath, the huffing when things don't go as he wants them.
Funny thing is I am the one with the alcohol problem, nothing huge, it's an evening thing. I'm usually a'bed by 9, counting z's by 10.
Why do I feel so bad? why do I feel that I have made the stupidest decision of my life?
Alex