Maybe you'd find the solution in the 12 steps..
the program of recovery written by drunks for drunks like you and me.
please dont do what i did and go to an AA meeting expecting to be struck down sober and full of glee....because for me and lots i see it dont happen.
i did what i thought was the right thing....fight it.......do battle with it.
and go to AA and moan how hard it is.
when it fact i found the opposite gave me great relief...as some have mentioned......i cant do battle with it.........it whips me every time.
ill do you a deal..........you do a set of steps.....all twelve with guidance from someone that has recovered........do it with the passion you do your drinking.........do it with gut level honesty......leave NO stone unturned..
and if your still drinking and dont feel any better ill give you back the money it cost you for the big book........how that for a challenge.
and if it does work.........you go and share it with a newcomer.
you up for it or what?