Hi Dub-
A guy shared at a meeting yesterday that he is "51% wanting to stay sober and 49% wanting to go drink". He said as long as he wants to get and stay sober more than he wants to drink, he'll be ok.
It sounds like he was being very honest with himself about his ratio.
Just a question, not a statement or a "knock" on you. Do you really want to get and stay sober? I mean really want it with all the benifits and hardships that will come with it? All the changes you'll have to make in your life? Just something to think about.
I wish you all the luck, my friend.