Sunday Morning, Listening to my tunes feeling good, I have life running through my veins as opposed to remnants of alcohol and Cocaine/nicotine/Mdma/THC. Feels great to have hope that what I feel now can be built upon, I think that I have felt serenity and peace at times through this last 6+ months and it was something which cannot be described but can only be felt.
Only by experiencing such mental/emotional/physical/spiritual lows that an alcoholic has to feel before they finally admit to themselves that they are totally powerless over booze and will do whatever is required to stay sober, will one be able to appreciate all of the gifts of sobriety.
Grateful to be alive and not full of remorse/regret/shame/anxiety/paranoia/hopelessness that I used to feel at this time on Sunday morning. So grateful that I know what I am as so many seem to struggle admitting the obvious because there "ego" for whatever reason is not going to allow them too. My ego may have been in full force during my booze-fueld high but as soon as it wore off who was I kidding? More booze or spend all day in bed... Ready, with a heavy heart, for next Fridays binge. If only I could manage to never feel sober then everything would be OK?... alcoholic through and through.
Peace and Love xxx