robo,
hey man, I'm going through the same feelings right now and I honestly believe that like drinking I'm addicted to not being alone. The last time I was alone was before I met my ex-wife and I was 27 years old, living with my buddy working as a brewmaster and partying like a rock star. Though I was single, I would "hook" up weekly with girls at the bar and have a constant love affair with beer, booze and wine. I was never never alone.
I have a belief that, at times, there are two different "truths" raging a war within my head. The surface truth might say, "just stop by the bar, have a glass of pinot noir, strike up a convo with the 2 ladies and you will feel great", but there is the deeper truth that says, "rob, man, you know exactly where that will lead you in a day, week, month (the truth is i never know; what i do know it always ends badly).
I don't know if this will relate to you, but I do believe the deeper truth, although not immediate, will give you a contentness built on a strong, wide foundation--one that will withstand many different test. The surface truth is a proverbial Caeser--hand is out with intent to shake, the other has a knife behind the back.
Good luck with it, cause I fight the same thing every second. I feel so alone right now. I have a mother and father who adore me and are willing to talk and when I am on the phone with them I feel like they are not even there. It sucks, because I love them from the bottom of my heart. I guess I just hold on to the fact that someday--hopefully sooner then later--my cup will be overflowing and my ability to give honestly will be back.
Again,
We are all dancing with wolves together