rdav74

Hello all, Rob D here. Quick synopsis. I have closed a restaurant that I have owned for two years. Like all of us, this economy took it's toll over the past year and a half. Coming from a alcoholic family, my drinking has always been border line but with the arsenal that I had to come into everyday and the pressures of business (or lack of), lets just say I partook over the past year. Marriage, gone; business, gone; girlfriend, gone. At 35 I am alone but not broken, yet I know this point, or very damn close to it, is rock bottom. The day I closed the restaurant was the last day I have drank. Though my will of not drinking is strong, I've started to hit meetings and plan on starting to work the steps, because like all of us alcoholics we are snake oil salesmen/women to ourselves. Simply put, I will find a way in a day, a week, a year (I don't know)to tell myself it will be ok to have a drink and then the race will be on.
At this point, I have found the pressure of closing the business, having my ex-girlfriend tell me that all she can see is me so drunk on the last day of business that I couldn't recognize her (this is a girl who just three days before devoted her love to me..now we dont even speak)...trying to find a job in this economy, and not drinking making it hard to sleep at night. Thanks to tylenol pm and books on ipod i barely make it through the night with a good 4 hours of sleep. I know this will improve, but it creates a fog during the day.
I know this is long and drawn out, but I'm here, committed and need conversation (please understand I live in a tourist ski town with 2500 people and our towns motto is a small town with a big drinking problem). to make it through this. My intent is sobriety for today. I am scared, and not afraid to admit it. Any insight, stories or just plain hellos are so welcome!
Sincerely,
Rob D