Hi David
You are doing so well. You can vent on here if you need to, we all understand what it is like but do get yourself to an AA meeting and get a phone number or two from the other alcoholics there. You need support from people who understand what you are going through. Trust me, it really helps to pick up the phone in a moment of need.
...and of course, ultimately the 12 steps help you to cope with life without the bottle.