The best way I can explain my situation is that I'm still (constantly) trying to improve and reach a state of true lasting sobriety and good health. I do not accept the situation as it is right now though I do acknowledge it. As long as that truly is the goal, moving forward and not sliding backwards should take care of itself, right? I do not accept that it's OK for me to drink alcohol & smoke ciggs OR to smoke a little pot or take a few pills for that matter but like all things it's a matter of degree and keeping things in perspective is hard for me, especially when I have no perspective and nothing to really go by except for 20+ years of drug and alcohol use which I think I have the perseverance to overcome. I have come so far but still have a ways to go, I am at least on the road. The one thing I know for sure is that drinking was killing me and was the catalyst (the fuel) for all the other bad, destructive, addictive stuff so keeping alcohol out of my life remains my #1 priority and hopefully always will.