Hi Untoxicated,
Like loads of people have already said, maybe you are an alki maybe you aren't, no one can say for sure. But to be honest, does it matter?
Alcohol seems to have remained a big focus for you the whole time. If alcohol is just a side effect of something deeper then why don't you let it go? Stop wasting time and energy thinking things that you've thought a thousand times before. If You can't find the answers to your questions by trying to figure out whether you can drink normally or not, then stop flogging a dead horse. It seems there's a much bigger picture with you and booze is getting more credit than it's worth IMO.
I'm not saying that you should take your eye of the ball completely, but move it aside. Channel your energy somewhere else, for something positive. I don't want to insult you mate, but like me, I think you have quite a negative outlook on things. I know everyone sees the world through their own glasses but if you're anything like me, your glasses have had your own sh*t smeared across them for so long, that's all you can see. Shift your focus, look else where, if you can't get the drink off your mind, you would of at least found the answer to one of the questions.
I wish you all the best buddy.