I think your mind has been made dude reading your posts now. You obviously ain't done with it yet. I was only done when i was done.
I agree with the cunning, baffling and powerfull quote from soberinwpg from the big book too.
I remember being where you are now and defending alcohol to the hilt and that whats the problem others do it... It's a funny one because only with total acceptance of one's alcoholism does one stand a chance of staying sober one day at a time but recovery is about finding out and fixing yourself so that you don't feel the need to "medicate". In my experince what sets an alclholic apart from a drinker is that of using booze as a medicine. Thats also why it's so hard to give up for an alclholic too as it's your best mate.
Are you worlds away from 12/16/09 now or gonna go right back where you swore you were never going again?
I wish you well dude xxx
I guess you'll find out what the reality was... Thats the only way for any of us ain't it.