The last thing I will mention is that alcohol/alcoholic mind is one cunning, deceiving, lying SOAB. If it senses that you have placed all of your eggs in one basket ie- relying on under the influence/trying controlled drinking experiment once to decide then what do you think the outcome is gonna be? This way it gets what it wants ie- booze to be allowed back in your life again. Just a thought.
All The best man and thanks for your good wishes.