Untoxicated

I not sure I'm an alcoholic.

I've been reading Under the Influence and have read on here that if you wonder if you're an alcoholic try drinking again.

With both things in mind, I did. I had some light beers on Tuesday and I didn't see what the big deal was (not like I used to). I bought a 12 pack and didn't even finish it. It took me about 7 hours to drink 10 beers and I hardly got a buzz.

Why did I drink in the first place? I wanted to see if I was an alcoholic. For those that don't know I was on anti-depressants for the past four years and went off them cold turkey on 9/25. Since then my desire for the drink has small to none.

I tend to play the blame game a lot - I blamed alcohol for my problems, then I blamed my anti-depressant for drinking alcohol. I never blamed myself for my actions, it was always something else.

So I'm pretty confused. I wonder how many people that are told they are an alcoholic actually drink more because they think it's what they are supposed to do. Once I figured out I wasn't (or didn't think I was) based on Under the Influence and some soul searching, I grabbed some beer and didn't even have a huge desire to slam it. (Before I would buy the strongest beer and some hard liquor because I thought that's what I should do because I was an alcoholic and the desire to quit wasn't there based on my anti-depressant - pg. 38 of Under the Influence).

So if alcohol isn't the problem, then what the hell is? I seem to have lost my motivation and zest for life. Do I need to got to AA to learn how to live again?

Can telling someone they are an alcoholic who isn't be just as devastating as not telling someone who is?

Confused and thanks.