I bet all of these replies can come off as a bit depressing!! The last thing we addicts/alcoholics want to hear about is patience!! I know that was the case for me at least. That's one of the things I loved about using, the reaction was instant, I didn't have to wait around, or do any actual "work" for me to "feel better". Of course, when the buzz wore off, I was right back where I was, but there was always more booze to drink, or in my case, pot to smoke.
I wanted everything to be all better when I first quit, to be honest, I still do!! At least now I understand that is just not how it works (Can't blame a guy for still wanting it to work that way though!!) It took time for us to dig our holes, to lose our inspiration, to reach that point where we will willing to go through all the $hit we go through to try to "beat" this.
As someone already suggested, it's a good idea to get some help with this, someone to keep you in perspective. Lot's of folks use AA, some go to theripists, some use both or other methods. Posting here is a good start, but it really can only take you so far. It sounds like you have more time on your hands than money, so why don't you check out a meeting, they're free, and a big support for many people. A lot of theripists, especially those specializing in substance abuse, will see people on a sliding scale if you can't afford what they normally charge.
It does get better. How long it takes is different for everyone. One thing for sure is that if you give up and go back to the bottle, things will only get worse. There is a saying in the rooms of AA, "Don't leave before the miracle happens." Don't give up. It may not happen on your time table, in fact it probably won't, but if you stick with it, keep reaching out for help, it will happen. Just about everyone on this site with any degree of recovery has been right where you are right now. It will get better, with time, and patience. I can't tell you how many times I "quit" then gave up and went back to using before I figured this fairly simple concept out. Keep plugging away!! Take care.