Originally Posted by intention

At Step 3 we turn our will over to God, so the question is - is this our will or God's will. I have had some useful replies in a Step 11 thread in the 12 step forum on meditation. I know you are not on that step but it may give you a better understand on how we allow God to make our decisions for us.

Yes your recovery will all be about being more tolerant of other people but really this is to take care of yourself, to keep you sober. Having serenity and tolerance will give you a far better high than the alcohol ever did.

But right now you are still full of resentment, regret and shame about the past so your decisions are being clouded by that. This is why we advise to work the steps straight away.

It may be in the long term you end up having no more association with these people as you turn more towards spirituality and spiritual people in your life. Working the Steps will give you the answers. A good sponsor will also help if decisions about particular individuals are hard to reach - especially at Step 8 & 9.

So please do quickly find a sponsor who has what you want and work the 12 Steps. In the meantime to help you with tolerance of the people in your life, learn the Serenity Prayer and say it whenever you need to.

Do you know of the Serenity Prayer?

Hi Sunset2000

Just to add that if you called me today and asked what to do about these people/poker games I would advise you to politely say to them "I am really sorry but right now I have some things going on in my life and I am unable to host any games for the next couple of months, or participate". There is no need to explain any more other than "I'll keep in touch"

That way you leave the door open, you don't blame them and you give yourself some time to get well.

Now if you get a sponsor they may advise differently and fair enough but you have expressed a lot of anxiety of this issue on this forum and I think need to take care of yourself and put your recovery first.