Originally Posted by
sunset2000 
Am I being a hypocrite now, seeing how I used to be kind of annoying myself? And how do you know you're making better decisions this early in recovery? And how do you stay strong when you believe in what you're doing and others do not? If I lose my strength now, I don't know what will happen.
At Step 3 we turn our will over to God, so the question is - is this our will or God's will. I have had some useful replies in a Step 11 thread in the 12 step forum on meditation. I know you are not on that step but it may give you a better understand on how we allow God to make our decisions for us.
Edit to include: I also wonder if part of my recovery is to learn to be more tolerant of others. Am I supposed to find some way to accept and welcome these folks into my home who make me uncomfortable? I'm a bit confused.
Yes your recovery will all be about being more tolerant of other people but really this is to take care of yourself, to keep you sober. Having serenity and tolerance will give you a far better high than the alcohol ever did.
But right now you are still full of resentment, regret and shame about the past so your decisions are being clouded by that. This is why we advise to work the steps straight away.
It may be in the long term you end up having no more association with these people as you turn more towards spirituality and spiritual people in your life. Working the Steps will give you the answers. A good sponsor will also help if decisions about particular individuals are hard to reach - especially at Step 8 & 9.
So please do quickly find a sponsor who has what you want and work the 12 Steps. In the meantime to help you with tolerance of the people in your life, learn the Serenity Prayer and say it whenever you need to.
Do you know of the Serenity Prayer?