I'm glad you came back, Daphne. I feel I was also one of the people who upset you. Please know that I didn't intentionally set out to offend you. I was sharing my experience with you, wanting to point out how I was thinking because everything looked good on the surface that I was happy. I was raised to always be concerned about how things looked and to never let anyone think that maybe, just maybe, everything wasn't so perfect.
I also couldn't figure out why I had to use substances to be happy. I was married, have a wonderful Son (when I was told I could never have a child) was extremely active in all of his sports activities, I was elected to the Board of Directors in these activities, held positions of great responsibility in these, had a good job where I also had a great deal of responsibility. Everyone would always call me Super Mom and say they just couldn't figure out how I did everything that I did and kept a smile on my face as well as tons of energy. What they didn't know what that I had to eat hand fulls of pills before I could even get in the shower each day, much less walk out the door wearing that Super Mom persona. Then at night, I felt so much guilt because I had to use all the prescription drugs to be Super Mom that I drank myself into oblivion each night. Then, the next morning, it all started all over again. There's that vicious cycle we speak of.
It takes a strong woman to come on here and admit that there may be something going on concerning alcohol. It takes a strong woman to come back after she said she was gone, admit that it's not as easy as she thought and that she needs help. I congratulate you for that.
Please know that you are always welcome here. Just please keep in mind that most of us have been where you are and some of us do have some ideas that may help you. I was so bullheaded that everything that was suggested to me I automatically slammed the door on. I thought that I wasn't one of "those people." Addicts and alcoholics aren't just low life gutter bums, living in squaller. We come from every walk of life. . . doctors, lawyers, politicians, stay at home Moms, business men, the woman who may wait on you at the bank, one of your children's teachers . . . This disease does not discriminate.
Keep Coming Back!
Hugs,
Judy