Welcome to SR David.
my relationship with my wife was in a shambles too until I stopped drinking and reconnected with her.
I didn't hide my drinking but possibly that is one of the reasons that you have disconnected from your wife. It is hard to have intimacy when you are carrying around such a big secret.
Good for you for taking the first step in stopping the madness. I am sure your family life will be much better because of it.
Good luck.