Everybody needs something to feel ok every day, we just have to learn not to use substance to get there.
I had to hit a few bottoms before I could really accept that walking away from alcohol and not pining over it, has made me much happier.
Have you ever been to an AA meeting? I'm not here to thump them, but it did help me a lot at the beginning, they can give you a lot of hope when you need to feel something KWIM?
Welcome back.