Hi,
I had to find a spiritual connection (not religious) in my life, in order to get sober. I am not an AA person, but the program does help many people. I was very isolated and lost in my drinking, and I knew that I needed a spiritual connection in my life, in order to recover.
I also hid my drinking from people and drank at home alone. I worked very, very hard to keep my problem a secret. We do understand and I know that you will find lots of support here.