my post was edited, soooo let me start by saying that I spend alot of time alone, I have extremly bad social skills! I forget that not everyone has my sense of humor!
12 steps--- im just not sure about, from my understanding AA and NA are a religous movement, i am not religous at ALL I just dont see it or understand it! I have tried!!! But when I hear quotes and so on from biblical times I just freeze and sign.... if you understand it then thats great.....
What I have been doing to not mess it up is alot of relaxation therapy, alot of reading, alot of chatting online, just trying to keep busy and not think about making a phone call, just keep pretending that i have a flu...
But i guess we all take things differntly!
going to a Detox and stuff is out of the question I would be fired from my job! Im not your addict that has to much time, im ur closet addict that has been leading two lives for a lot of years.... I just cant take that time off werk, I am fairly detoxed now from 12/30/2010 at 4pm I did my last hit, then i relapsed jst ONE time friday night I did another hit at around 8 pm This is why I am doing the whole online thing I know I can do it its as simple as not putting the substance in my system.... what I cant do is make the right decissions at the right times, I feel like I should go back to elementry school and learn the basic this is right this is wrong.... I seem to have lost that ability.... IDK maybe i dont even make any sense