WELCOME!
Glad you're here Sankalpa, you came to the right place!
Thanks for the replies.
I'm not doing any of the recovery programs - mostly because I have been kind of turned off by the religious overtones in the 12 step program information I have read. (I'm a recovering Catholic too, ha ha).
Alothough I use AA and maintain that it has been my own best solution for recovery, I do not advocate AA over any other program for anyone else, and my advice is always the same: it usually works best if you use a program, find one that suits you, AA or otherwise. I repeat:
I would strongly suggest a program. I don't know where you are, in the US? I suspect you are, and if that is true, there are secular alternatives to AA and there are a myriad of outpatient rehab options.
But I'm considering going to check out some of the open meetings just to see what they are like.This will sound like a stupid question, I am sure: I know you're supposed to distance yourself from friends that drink.
I would qualify that statement. It depends on how much your friends drink. If you have friends that you essentially get drunk with and there is no other focus in your relationship with them, well, who wants friends like that anyway?
But you may have friends who are moderate drinkers and could easily pass up a visit to a bar or would have no problem with an alcohol free dinner with you: why leave those friends?
I have a group of very moderate-to-almost-non-drinking women friends who have the boring habit of ordering coffee in bars. Or if they order something, it is a glass of wine and they walk out of the restaurant after a 5 hour dinner leaving that same glass of wine half full.
I have no need to give up those kinds of friends. Why would I? As a recovering alcoholic, I know that I will never have to deal with excessive drinking or the pressure to drink around these women.
We do have friends that are not big drinkers and then many who are. Is it possible to stay friends with people who you used to hang out with when you were drinking?
Very good question: you are asking something almost all of us asked ourselves. I think I answered the question already: is your relationship with your friends based on drinking? If you wanted to do something with them that did not involve drinking, would they still be interested?
When I was young and hit the bars a lot, a lot of my friends were simply drinking buddies who I had nothing in common with. Our only thing in common was hitting the bars. Lots of times when I was in their company, I actually did not like being around them. I didn't like them as people. But, I would order another drink and things would get all fuzzy and I would convince myself that maybe I liked them after all....
You CAN navigate these waters with good solutions and keep some, but perhaps not all of your social connections intact if you decide to stay sober. Yes, you will have to make some changes. But, I eventually found that there was a huge difference between drinking buddies and friends.