I always will be.... and I learned that through relapse. Now I accept I always will be an alcoholic and that I can never pick up a drink again, it has come as a relief and for that I am grateful.
Be wary of the addictive mind. It will have you going down many paths - projecting into the future, wondering what if, analysing everything, questioning if you really are an addict etc etc - but all paths lead to the same destination ...relapse.
Keep it simple. Just stay clean today.