Welcome to SR! "thing that came to mind while reading your post was -
Would you turn your back on a rattlesnake across the room?".barb dwyer...
You just about took the words right out of my mouth!..lol..
I can't afford to minimize any substance/thing which could kill me. Drugs and alcohol especially. I have come close to death too many times that way. When I begin to think how the drugs/alcohol are not that powerful and I don't need to admit to myself I am a alcoholic and drug addict it gives me pause: What is at work here? Am I in a place where denial is creeping back into my program through minimizing what I am and how powerful these substances are? When I hear that voice whispering in my ear that phrase "the rest of my life" which it distorts, through irrational fear, into "forever", a concept/perspective that I can't wrap my mind around. Given that line of thought I react with "i can't, won't, would rather die first, f... this" and return to using if, I don't talk to my sponsor, go to a meeting(s), and use the tools of recovery. I guess my first real indicator is how my thinking is changing. If I don't use the tools of recovery my thinking DOES change, it begins to return to old unhealthy ways of processing information/reality/life. When such changes surface I know it's time for a reality check, which usually means call your sponsor (a practice I attempt to follow everyday and causes the afore mentioned when I don't) or connecting with some help. If I minimize the problem I'm in real trouble and that once minimized substance begins to look appealing... need I go on?
All you have to do is remember you don't have to use today. If you have a problem with saying you are an addict/alcoholic for the rest of your life, just say it today..
When we begin to think in terms of "the rest of my life" or "forever" a big red neon sign should be flashing sounding ALERT! your addiction is alive and well, patiently waiting, subtly manipulating, navigating us into that place where we are without defense against...............
There are lot of people here and in the recovery world ready and willing to help....
