this is such a good question; i've had the same struggle myself. this is one of my things about a.a. although i like some of the things about a.a. (people really know what you're going through; great support), one of the things that bugged me is that i had to see myself as someone who would always be defined by my addiction to alcohol. when i reached a point where i felt that one or two meetings a week sufficed for me, it felt like i was being given the third degree (although i know the intentions were good) because i wasn't going more. i will go to an a.a. meeting now, but i'm trying not to feel like i have to do it the way they say, or define my whole being by my inability to drink alcohol. i'm not sure how to approach it, really. i just know that if i continue down the path i had been going, i will die from it. it will be slow and quiet and lonely, and awful. but i don't want to define my life as an addict.