What's up "Dirty" ThirtyBubba?
I'd say what you're going through is pretty normal. I've heard the first 90 days to 1 year is the hardest.
But my body and my mind are playing tricks on me... and they're dang good ones too.
I think you nailed it right there.
If my body could talk it'd probably say--no, scream, "you idiot, stick a fork in me I'm done I'm done I'm done!!!" But my brain's a bit of an a$$hole when it comes to doing what's right.
I'm not trying to suggest it's all mental by any means. I'm reading Under the Influence right now and wow did I have some concepts of alcohol/alcoholism backa$$wards!
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that your mind is the first and last line of defense against the drink. It's like your body is an unwilling female (no offense ladies) on the first date but the mind finds a way to talk the pants right off. During the "fun times", the body is thinking - you know - this ain't so bad!!! But the next day is one helluva walk of shame and then enters remorse, guilt, and feeling like crap...even the silver tongued brain isn't up to snuff.
Congrats on staying sober, keep it up!