What she just said (Mindy, I think) struck me on the head! She thought after she had her child she would then have filled that "void!" That is similar to how I felt. I felt my whole life would be so much better and I wouldn't abuse alcohol anymore. I stayed sober during the pregnancy and then about a year after he was born I was back to my wine every night. Void not filled. Guess people can't fill the void. That just hit me to the core.