I have to say that you are being a good sport about this excellent discussion.
I miss not being an alcoholic.
My experience is that I did not always obsess about drinking and did not always compulsively drink it. My experience was that I always liked a cold beer when working around the yard, or a drink when out to dinner... and I could leave it at that. Somewhere along the way... I began to drink when I didn't want to... or I'd have a couple of drinks before we left the house to go out for dinner... then have one or two more... Then more when I got home....It wasn't special anymore, it became necessary. Sometimes I'd wake in the night, and go out to the car and take a swig of the vodka I had stashed, there in the moonlight. Alone.
I do not miss that.
Make sense?
Mark
Oh, I've not had a drink since 9/14/08....