Hi gang,
This is more of a realization for me than anything but I've decided to share it with you in the hopes that it may be beneficial. (If not please properly place this in file 13 - give a hoot and don't pollute).
When I would drink, I often found myself perusing the web out of boredom and often times forums of all things. For some reason I found it necessary to flex my intellectual muscle to someone(s) in a effort to lift the veil of darkness and her brother ignorance and bring forth the light of truth and understanding. I was on a crusade and my cup of righteousness spilleth over. With my horse named Budweiser (a Clydesdale of course), my armor made of Southern Comfort, and my sword forged from the fires of self-loathing I marched into battle.
Looking back now, I was just drunk and looking to inflate my deflated self-esteem and deflate my inflated anger and resentment for drinking. Basically, I was drinking, wasn't happy about it, so everyone else wasn't going to be happy either.
When I decided to stop drinking I ended all my triggers as well. One of them, of course, was my delusional attempt to save the world from ignorance one post at a time. A bit funny seeing as how I was the most ignorant of all.
Now that the drink is gone I still notice my tendency to respond to ideas, statements, and opinions that I don't agree with. One poster on SR made a comment that I didn't agree with and I waited to post a reply, even typed out a lengthy reply in opposition but deleted the would be post. Fortunately my good sense got the better of me and I decided to let it be.
I happened to see another post by the same author and this time the post tied into the poster's previous opinion and I could now see why the poster had such strong feelings. It was a nice lesson for me - I never knew what was going on in that poster's life until I read the other post, and had I not read the other post I still wouldn't know.
The point is that many people's opinions on this site are driven by whatever is sculpting their their personal journey at the time. To think I would have disputed an opinion for nothing more than selfish pride makes me very uneasy and not a little ashamed.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then a sober day keeps my inner-idiot at bay.
Please pass the toilet paper, this post is done.
