The disciplines of st ignatiuos is probably what your partner sees in AA, no harm in a bit of inner house cleaning. There are lots of things said about AA and AA meetings that arent true.Of course people see religion in it, it says God with a capital G so it must be religion, can you seperate God from religion. AA seperated God from religion for me, I was stuck with my Proddy grannys God, he was a scary God. You are definitely looking for something Daphne it is shouting out of every post you make. I think you may find what your looking for in AA, I could be wrong of course, have a look at the Book Alcoholics Anonymous without prejudice.
Still wishing you well.