You'll get no great magic solution, or anything real profound from me. I'm just anormal guy who got sober once and continued to see a toxic friend, so to speak. I mean we were great friends in active addiction, and I surmised that he was really my friend aside from that. He was one of the few people that got me and we got along well. My visits were short, he understood what I was doing and never offered it to me. Months later during a short visit I smoked pot. The next time I visited I decided to have a few Methadone pills. All subsequent visits I made turned into little escapades, you know just a few pills to reward myself for being sober 90 percent of the time...no matter how hard I tried to tow the line ... it seemed each visit I made eroded my resolve and my addictive reasoning starting chipping away at the recovery mindset I had worked hard to get in place...so much so that I found myself ultimately compromising that. I was new in recovery...it was ingenuous and very naive of me to think I could cut all toxic friends out EXCEPT him. 8 years later I had to get sober all over. This time I cut all these people out. Some are in jail...two have died so its a little easier this time as there aren't so many to cut out of my life, sad to say.
I agree with what most have said and with what you already know you are probably going to have to do. The wisest, most responsible thing you can do is tell her the truth. DO NOT endanger your new found resolve. It is simply not worth it. We are all different, and not everyone would have the same experience I did and end up using, but Why even risk it. Listen to the counsel of the many who have been in the same situation and got the results you want to get. YOU come first. Without sobriety we don't have much. If you tell her what you want and she continues to contact you, you may just have to be more assertive and just block her. Take care of yourself....don't endanger your sobriety....this is serious bizniss. Your gut is serving you well...keep listening to it and good luck . We can do this!!