Negative & frustrated? With a thread entitled, "advice-PLEASE" you sounded very concerned about your drinking & seemed to want input from those of us who have battled the beast and won.
Most of us, bearing our battle scars, are very anxious to help and share our stories. When we see someone (seemingly) going down the same road we've just traveled we'd do most anything to help prevent that person from the hell & chaos we've been through.
Tazman and I have an almost identical drinking past. I have to agree that his story is not an extreme one. In my case, everything was manageable for many years too. It took decades for alchohol to nearly destroy my body & break my spirit. In my 20's I was a weekend drinker with a glorious future. My drinking progressed - my tolerance for it was incredible. In my 50's I spent time incarcerated for my 2nd DUI. I, too, swore I'd never cross over that line we draw for ourselves. I never would have imagined the path my drinking would take me down. I would have laughed at anyone who told me I would one day drink at work, drink and drive, keep a drink by my bedside to stop the shakes during the night. None of these things may ever happen to you, but I once had your same attitude. Please be careful.